Just summer....

Ahhhhh....summer.
It is a beautiful thing.

As much as I am actually NOT a fan of the heat...and not a sun lover (because it does contribute to my migraines)....when summer does finally hit the Seattle area, it really is nice.

There is a different feeling when the sun wakes you in the morning.
I have a bit more energy...I am happier...I am eager to get outside with the kids.

But seriously...
if there were NOTHING else...

Summer would thrill me for this reason alone....

HANDS DOWN.....
This says summer to me!

Just so you know....best cantaloupe EVER!

Some thoughts.

So....
I seem to have developed a bit of a love/hate relationship with blogging.

I love...and mean a lot...having a memoir, if you will. Having a physical journal to look back on. The idea of getting my years published and being able to look at them forever.
Having a place that my kids can see the funny things they said or did, and remember milestones....forever.

I also love, having an outlet.
Back in the day, I used to write. I used to write A LOT!
I have MANY journals from when I was young.
I was in every AP English class I could take.
I have notebook after notebook of poems that I created, or stories that I wrote.
Then I had kids.
Everything changed. It seemed as though I couldn't put two intellectual thoughts together anymore, let alone get it on paper for preservation purposes.
I quit writing. Almost completely.

Over time, I turned to scrapbooking...that became my outlet.
HOWEVER,
Over time, it also became too time consuming and exhausting, and it too, took a backseat to life.
As much as I want too, I still can't even figure out digital scrapbooking, so I was at a loss.

So, I came upon blogging because of a friend.
I love it!
I love the idea of it.
I love the reality of it.
I love to write. I love to contemplate. I love to compose thoughts into a working process.
Somedays, as a mom and a wife...I just feel so underappreciated, so undervalued...but doing this kind of makes me feel like I am contributing something into the adult world. It makes my mind "work", and forces me to have to churn the often, mumbles in my head into something a bit more pliable.

And again, I love having this "scrapbook".

However, a few months ago I started another blog. An outlet for my crafts, recipes and ideas which are the other half of the mess that is going on in my head.

Now starts the hate part.

It takes up so much time.
I don't even mean the physical time it takes...I think about it constantly.
Lately, I have been thinking that I really need to catch up on BOTH blogs...but then...I just don't.
It seems like I am not, on purpose. Like a rebelious teenager. It is daunting, and frustrating, and time consuming...so I just don't.

I kept thinking and saying, that come summer, with the lack of routine, I could catch up on everything in blogland.
I haven't.

I could give all of my excuses....
Sports and swim lessons.
My mom was in town, staying with us.
My sister and nephew were in town for two weeks staying with us.
We did a little "staycation".
We went camping.
My niece stayed with us.
etc...etc...

Yes, life has been trucking along around here....and instead of documenting any of it, with the MILLION pictures that I take...I have just watched the clock tick by, saying that I should.

I have seen a lot of talk about being present in the day and soaking every minute of the summer as the bonding time that it is meant to be. Spending days blissfully routineless, counting smiles instead of minutes....making memories instead of order. Taking in the saturation of innocent love that kids have to offer...Letting time be a part of lives instead of dictating our lives.
I agree.
Fully.
At this moment, now, today...My kids deserve to have me...in the present...doting on their every word.

I do however, get very sad...when I have done all of these super cute, and fun things with the kids, and our little trips, and my family's visits...and there is absolutely NO written memory of it. I want to preserve it because unfortunately...memories, that we think will always be as sharp as they are now, do fade...

I want to remember how I feel today...
Why things made me laugh...who the kids are...who I am...
I really don't know how I got so lucky, to get all that I have. I do the best that I can...I do the best that I know. And I sure have gotten smarter over the years! But in no way do I think I have it all together and figured out. Most days...I just try to put one foot in front of the other like everyone else. I know I am a good mom! I do my best to be a good wife. I just sometimes get caught in the feeling that I need to be more. I don't really know what that means....but it is how I sometimes feel.

So, for our family...I am going to be catching up. I will have to back pedal, but that is OK. I have to be OK with that. That is where I tend to end up where I am...I get too overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, so I end up doing NOTHING!
I am going to post about my sisters visit...and camping...and our "staycation"...and berry picking...and....
I will post currently, but in the post put the actual timeline.
I will try to do most all of this, at night, when my kids are in bed, so that I don't feel guilty.

I also have a lot to do on my other blog. I don't so much need to catch up as allow myself to move forward.
With missing so much time on that site, which I designed to get other people to read it...I kept feeling like I should go backward and fill in the dates...that is too overwhelming...
So, I will just move forward.

So there it is.
I am hoping for a love/love relationship again.

My goal is to order my first book in December for this year and last year....sooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Super duper sorry for the VERY wordy post!
Sweet hubby took the kiddos on a bike ride, and I am alone...and once I started...it just FLOODED!!!

Camping...the Goodtimes way

As Every year...this one was no different.
Camp Goodtimes commenced and we ferried over to Vashon.
This year had a little bit of a different feel for us. It would be Karman's last year at her cancer camp.
She has gone, every single year, since she was 9.
It was kind of a strange feeling knowing that we wouldn't be heading back the next year.

But we did. We trekked along the path just like the nine years before.

Loving the ferry ride...and enjoying the crisp but beautiful air.

The little kids have never NOT gone on this trip. Every year that they have been alive we have headed to the island. In fact, Tyler's first trip he was only 3 days old...

The camp atmosphere is something I could never truly convey to people.
It is happy and loud and obnoxious in a way that leaves you feeling so completely lost in the magic that you almost forget you are leaving your kids there. Those who are, forget they are sick. They are able to put chemo and hospitals behind them...and for one week...live like they should be able to. Parents walk away feeling OK about those kids. Knowing that for this week, they can act like little kids, and laugh and sing and dance without a care in the the world. They are taken care of, and and completely accepted, no matter what!

It is a place that is surrounded by cancer...and/or the idea of cancer and yet it is a place for kids and parents alike, to just forget all about it.

This years theme was MYSTERY.....
So her cabin's name was the Whoodunits.
Cute.

Setting up her Bunk...

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One of the really fun things for both Karman and us is that halfway through their week at camp they get to go on an Argosy Cruise.
While on their trip, every single year, they pull into the Red Robin on the water in Seattle. They park the boat and SING VERY LOUDLY...and make a bunch of noise...and try to temp the diners to throw french fries at them.

Again, I truly can not explain the situation. You would need to hear the noise level.
Over the years, people have learned of this tradition and they come to the docks of Red Robin to meet the boat.
Us included.
Every year we are out there...waiting to hear the impending sound of 300 kids singing YMCA. I don't know why that is always the song of choice...but it is.

All of the kids are on the front of the boat just waiting for the audience to get involved...and every year they do.
I take a good hundred pictures...and with my fancy zoom lens I can actually get up close and personal with Karman...even though she is quite far away.
Here she just after catching a french fry that was thrown at them.

It is a fun memory to have every year.
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Inevitably...camp comes to a close.
On the last day there is always a show. Each cabin puts on a little skit for the parent program.

This was something that was kind of cool...and new this year. It is a sail that has all of the kids pictures on it. Karman is down on the bottom left.

So Karman's last year was a good year. I think there was a little teenage drama involved...but bottom line is...that the week ends, and you come back to the "real world"...so you may as well have a good time while you are there.

In all of the years that we have attended Camp Goodtimes...the thing I've gathered that is so amazing about it, is that for 5 days...these kids are enveloped in a love, and a camaraderie that is so unique that they are able to float on a level of magic that the real world could never provide.
Considering some of their stories...they deserve a week like that!