18.
When they say, time flies, they really do mean it.
In the dark of night, I sit and think back. I remember everything so vividly.
I remember the cute little things that she would say. I remember what a terror she was and how she broke everything she touched when she was little.
I remember how attached she was to the strangest things, and how she would play with her ponies for hours.
I did a photo shoot of her...in a daisy field one time. I was no good at photography back then, and there was no such thing as digital...but she posed and was so innocent.
Absolutely etched in my brain are those pictures on that day.
There have been many many hills to climb with her.
There have been battles that we never thought we would have to fight.
When she was diagnosed with cancer we didn't know what the future held, and it made us question the very foundation of all that was real. I got a very real sense of the fact that mortality is real...and it made me appreciate.
It made us all appreciate.
For the past 5 years, to say there have been bumps in our road, would be an understatement.
After all of the surgeries, and the follow ups ended....
We had a full on teenager.
Karman...you test us every single day.
More so now, then ever before.
You seem to think there are no consequences for actions.
You torture us with your endless abandon toward real life responsibility, and with insistance that we are always wrong. You suddenly question everything we say and do.
You think you are smarter then us.
But...
You are a good kid.
You are a good person.
There are many things that you do not do, that others do...and we are proud of that. Very proud.
You have made some HUGE strides in the last two years, and I hold hope that over the next two years, if you make the same kind of strides that things will get so much better!
Your grades are amazing this year!
You are outgoing, smart, loyal and loving.
You are curious and ambitious and filled with endless possibility and that warms me.
*********
Some birthday advice from your mommy.....
We are in fact, NOT always wrong. Sometimes, the sky is just blue, whether we say so, or not.
Despite how I know it sometimes feels, we actually TRULY do want the VERY best for you. Believe me, I know it sucks, but we have more experience and can simply see things, that you are not capable of seeing yet.
We most certainly, don't expect perfection, we expect only what we KNOW you are extremely capable of.
Trust me when I tell you, as a mom, and a woman, I know that if you don't have a strong head on your shoulders, and know who you are and what you stand for, that this world will, quite literally, eat you alive. That is why I demand that you figure those things out. The only way to do that...is to stand on your own two feet...fall, and then stand back up. Only looking back to make sure you don't fall from the same thing again. Understanding fully, that the only people who fail, are the people that don't stand back up and try again.
Never underestimate, that there will always be more learning to do...embrace that. There are opportunities for learning, everywhere.
Always, give your best, whether there are expectations for it or not. It says a lot about a person. When you think you have done enough, do more. Just because.
*******
Just know, there will never be anyone who loves you more then we do.
No one who wants more for you, then we do.
No one, who in the end would stand up for you, more then we would.
In turn though, there is no one who expects more from you then we do.
Because we know you are, and can be...
AMAZING
Today I am THANKFUL for Karman.
Happy Birthday.
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